I’ve come to the recent conclusion that I’m gonna end up like the Simpsons’ crazy cat lady. Relationshipwise I haven’t really been blessed with a history worth sharing. I seem to attract simpletons and assholes, cowards and liars, and find myself constantly falling for unattainable guys. Yet, I don’t see a reason why I should lower the bar and settle with less. To quote a quite popular song by Fairground Attraction, “too many people take second best, but I won’t take anything less”…maybe that’s my problem, but I’m tired of wasting my time with men who keep most parts of their brains in their pants or try to impress me with money, their cars or inflationary misuse of cliché phrases. Is it really too much to ask for when all I want is a decent man on my side? Not an immature boy whose only proof of adulthood is minor growth of pubic hair?

Oh Lord, maybe I’m being too demanding. Maybe I should try to get attention by going out in my underwear as so many girls here do instead of taking out the garbage in my tiger-paw slippers. But then again – no, that’s not me. I do have some grace left, believe it or not (yes, even though I was quite close to proving the opposite just recently). Another option is online dating. I don’t say that this doesn’t work. Many happy couples get to know each other over the internet and not every profile is used as camouflage by some psychopathic weirdo who stores a chainsaw in their pantry or likes to have sex with their vacuum-cleaner. I tried. I had a look. But something about this “Here I am. Add me to your contacts. Send me a virtual flirt. Love me.”, puts me off.

I’m trying not to become cynical, to still appreciate some romance and cheesiness. Maybe it’s easier to like that kind of stuff when you’re in love anyway. I miss that feeling, miss the butterflies defying all sorts of fatal acids rummaging in my tummy, miss the shivers a single smile can give you. Truth is, however, that you can’t force these feelings to happen. If it happens, it’s magic. And a part of me still wants to believe that magic can happen. I might be wrong, but then again: it’s never too late to get a cat. Or two. Or three…or four… .